In my last article, I talked all about how you can make your crush your husband (click here to read it)
So, maybe you got the man you liked, but now he is keeping you in the “girlfriend zone.” This article is specifically for you if you are in a relationship, but your boyfriend doesn’t seem to budge on popping the question.
How can you get him to finally propose? It really all comes down to self-confidence.
What do you do in this situation? Beg him? Pressure him? Absolutely not. Instead, you model what the mid-century 1950s woman did: you make yourself valuable, and you don’t let him get away with keeping you as just a girlfriend forever. This seems to be a major problem in modern days. Many men take on all the benefits of having a wife while only being a boyfriend. Women are giving away far too much, acting out of desperation, and ending up stuck.
Do not stay stuck daydreaming about the gorgeous white wedding dress and the honeymoon. Here are 7 secrets from the 1950s to change everything
1. Women dug Up the History (Information Is King)
In the 1950s, grabbing a coffee with a neighbor or friend, was everything. Find out about his exes. If he dated other girls before you, why didn’t he marry them? Find out what his deal-breakers were.
Perhaps an ex-girlfriend complained all the time or was incredibly high maintenance, which scared him off from marrying her. Find out about the past and learn from those mistakes! Find out what drives him away so you don’t make those same mishaps.
2. Keep Your Future Subjective
Share what you want in your future, but don’t necessarily pinpoint him in it. 50s women would sometimes play hard to get. My advice is to actually be hard to get, because your valuable. Valuable things are hard to get. This is a great idea to use if you have been his girlfriend for a long time and things just aren’t moving forward. It might not be the best approach if you just recently became official).
Say things like:
“I look forward to the man God has for me to marry. I am not quite sure who that is yet, but I’m praying about it.” > or
“I hope my future husband loves to travel as much as I do.” His heart may pound for a second, and he will wonder why you aren’t completely set on him yet. Of course, make sure your boyfriend knows you love him, but do not settle on him if he has not settled on you with marriage. Let him realize there is a very real chance of losing you like a confident 50s woman would.
It is so important to pray and ask God who to marry anyway. Sometimes you can include your boyfriend when talking about the future, but at other times, say things that cause him to wonder. This puts a man into a mindset of wanting to WIN you. Men love to win.
3. DO NOT Move in Together
This is probably the absolute best thing to copy from the 1950s. Women back then would not pack their bags and suddenly go live with their boyfriends. This is a huge reason why I believe fewer women are married today; by moving in, you are giving him all the benefits of a wife without the commitment. In the 50s, marriage was much more common of an occurrence.
Men love the chase and the mystery. When you move in, it can take much longer to get to the point of an engagement. I know it’s hard if he is always at your place or you are always at his, and it feels like it “just makes sense”. But this is actually a roadblock, not a fast track to marriage.
Instead, let him come over or go visit him. Make him his favorite dinner and an apple pie for dessert. Show off why you are going to be a great wife using actions, not words. Bake for him, let him confide in you, and show him why you’re amazing.
He might say he wants to “see what you’re like” before committing, but don’t settle for it. He can see plenty of what you are like when you visit each other.
4. Take Time to “Do You”
Let’s say you have been with this boyfriend for a while, but he still hasn’t popped the question. Whether it’s the beginning of the relationship or further into it, as much as you love being around him, do not give in to the temptation to spend every moment together. You need to make him want to tie you down.
Make plans with your friends, work hard on your career, and keep yourself as a first priority. Shove the feelings of needing to constantly be with him to the side. When you focus on your own life and goals, things change.
If he calls you to hang out last minute and you say, “I am so sorry, but I have plans with my friends,” or “I have this major project to get done for work,” He starts missing you.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is a real thing. When you don’t give him 100% of your time, you give him space to think about you. To solve the issue of wanting to see you more and be more involved in your life, he will look for a permanent solution: marriage.
5. Confidence, Not Desperation
A confident 1950s woman did not beg, whine, or cry about getting married; she knew her value. She allowed the man to take the lead.
Showing him photos of honeymoon spots and wedding dresses before he has even asked can look desperate to a man. A man needs to think to himself, “Oh my goodness, if I don’t tie her down, someone else will.” Even if you don’t have anyone else interested in you right now, stay busy so he wonders anyway!
When a woman acts desperate, a man starts to question why. This may be a bit controversial, but I suggest not even mentioning marriage to him directly. Instead, stick to Step 2. Keep it subjective so he is the one trying to solve the problem of how to tie you down before someone else does.
A beautiful vintage midcentury wedding headpiece or a pretty cocktail hat for a formal event
6. Ask for His Advice
This is a wonderful tip because it makes a man feel like he can genuinely lead the way and protect you. Men love to feel helpful!
Asking for his perspective also naturally positions you to be a good listener, which is an incredibly attractive trait. People love to feel heard. In the 1950s, these simple manners went a very long way.
7. Use Favors to Your Advantage
The women of the 1950s knew how to use favors beautifully. Do not be demanding but do allow him to do things for you.
What queen ever got off her throne to chase a man? A queen stays on her throne, and the man comes to her trying to win her attention by serving her. Men secretly love this because they have an inner drive to provide.
While a 1950s woman might have had her boyfriend carry her heavy schoolbooks, today you can ask: “Can you pick up my medicine at the pharmacy?” or “Can you help me fix this?” This makes a man feel great about himself. It also helps him to see you as very attractive.
What If You’ve Already Made These Mistakes?
Let’s say you are reading this and realizing you’ve already begged, or you already live with him. It is not too late to change things. If you already live together, try to find somewhere else to live, if you can. If you absolutely can’t do this for financial reasons, then focus on staying busy and moving toward your own independence.
If he lives with you and notices your actions moving toward independence, it will stop him in his tracks. Don’t announce it or talk to him about it—Just move in that direction. Save money for your own apartment, focus on your own savings, and dive into your career. Click here on how to save money fast.
When you suddenly love your life, love yourself, and are independent enough to have your own space, he will realize he could lose you. He will also wonder, “Why isn’t she asking me about marriage anymore?” It truly will get him thinking.
Know When to Walk Away
If you do all of these things and a man still doesn’t value you enough to marry you, do not fret. I know it is so hard to let go of someone you love, but it is okay to lay down a relationship to make room for something truly healthy and wonderful. By working on your independence, you are already prepared to support yourself and achieve your goals. What do you think the best 1950s tip is from the list? Why? Comment below!
P.S – As a Christian, I believe one of the best things you can do is pray and ask God who to marry or ask Him to bring the right person across your path. God’s love never fails. He knows exactly who is right for you, and the love you will feel with the person God has for you will be everything you could ever dream of. In the meantime, take your current relationship to Him in prayer.
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